Kiss my lips,
touch my shoulder,
get lost with me,
as time grows older.
Time feels slow,
and yet delectable,
making everything about you,
look impeccable.
Stars burn above us,
in the night sky,
and warmth blossoms,
between you and I.
I look into your eyes,
and am surprised to find,
that you haven’t stopped
looking at mine…
So the time has come,
where we both realize,
that something new,
has just begun.
My heart skips,
like a melody,
that with each kiss,
I pull you closer to me.
I bat my eyes,
you smile back.
You’ve just made up,
for what this day lacked.
“To one more drink,
that’s shared tonight!”
May it be worthy
of our delight.
The hours lead us,
to our "goodbye",
we've reached it's end,
at the "blink of an eye".
I hug you tightly,
you will be missed,
and seal our evening
with one last kiss.
*Here’s to romance, and the magic that is created between two souls embracing the enchantment offered by a summer’s night.
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I think this is a very interesting poem. The pentameter is really well done, and the syllable count in each line is unlike any other I have read before. It is five syllables in almost every line. It started off kind of odd, and I didn't know how I felt about it, but by the end I really enjoyed it. it was almost fun to read. The way it sounds and feels as you say it out loud, it's very well done.
ReplyDeleteAll of that is besides the fact that, yet again, you have managed to capture an emotion and transcribe it in a way that can really convey to the reader how it really feels. You aren't saying "this is what love is like", you are making the reader feel it as well.
Well done =]
Actually, the 5 syllable thing only applies to the last half of the poem, I believe. The first half, I don't think there is a set number. My previous statement about it starting out odd and then getting better still stands though.
ReplyDeleteAre you talking about the part that starts with "The stars... "? I re-wrote that section like four different times, trying to describe what I was envisioning... or do you mean the entire first half? Which parts are you referring to sir? :)
ReplyDeleteI don't know now. I can't count! Haha.
ReplyDeleteI was referring to the part that reads,
"The time has come
where we both realize"
From then on, the syllable count changes a little (I think). It becomes more abrupt. I thought it was all five, but when I counted again, it turned out to be between four and six (depending on the line).